I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize