my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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