If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
