I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
