Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
