actually, I'm a sock model
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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