I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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