let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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