we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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