omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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