Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
