Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My dick has a subreddit
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
