there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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