I think my vagina is haunted
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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