The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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