Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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