I cannot find my penis.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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