And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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