Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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