New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
