ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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