Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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