You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
