what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
