I just made out with a guy for $7.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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