I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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