How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
