Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
