Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
