How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize