dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Randomize