It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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