Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
