You're my little dorito
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
