All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
