ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize