I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
