I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
another moral hangover. fuck.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
