the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
