Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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