oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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