I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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