she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Damn victory sex feels great
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
