Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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