There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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