Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just found puke in my bra..
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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