And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
