But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
