2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Someone stole a lamp last night.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
