if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
