God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
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