I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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