Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
