We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
