so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
