I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
