I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
