Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
