I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
